I always wanted to start a revolution, you know a good heroic fight against "the Man" and the injustices brought upon us. It's not like I'm a "commie", my pop is a WW II vet and we watched "The Great Escape", " Magnificent Seven", and worshiped "Enter the Dragon"... "Dirty Harry" was a role model for me, Steve McQueen a hero. As a kid I was a hooligan in a black hoodie... just seemed to attract trouble, however it was fun. My Uncle Ed who taught me to ride "left" his Yamaha DT 175 in our garage. I fired it up whenever the folks were out. Braap Braap... blue smoke a trailin' had a small 13 mi. TT route, go figure.
So I've been a rider since '78. I guess, no helmets just shades and a cap. The rules have changed since then. No longer are there railroad tracks near the pond, or the groves of tree's you rip thru, how about the hills now full of houses the bike or 4x4 would run up, nope all gone .It was just two sheriffs and the towns back then, fun times. The "man" is now a 22 year young kid ( security or actual cop with a gun) he just wants to make you shuffle from one place to another cause he's "the man" you see. I stay away from the suburbs, really. In S .F. they leave you alone unless you're robbing the occasional bank, you respect them they respect you.
However it's the average car driver and their perception of an actual life of a rider that makes me want to, well, start a revolution. Many people as of late, which to me seems to be normal, if you really pay attention, say there have been many deaths, (it's true), however it's the "OK, just another one" reality of thinking that has taken place which starts to get me a riling.
How many?... I wonder have gone/ I believe we need to somehow make the average car loving Joe and Jane more aware. Time to go a thinkin'. So we're (me and the revolutionaries) at the notorious Pirate Zeit Bar, better be having a bag of gold for the hearty times... and a wary eye. Many a crew and scoundrel about. I feel at home, and smile. Time for pints, ribs and ideas. The ladies show up with spirits and a feast of ribs, slaw and cornbread , the revolutionaries start firing in the air, their six guns ablazin , we're in heaven, just then I see a different kind of flash..bzaap, seems our beer man didn't tip. The bar keep is beautiful and ruthless at the same time... her shocking whip a sensation (take it as you will). I smile, her short skirt kills me. So we parley-kiss and make up, upon terms agreed. I also sell the no tipping scoundrel to the bar and have two pitchers to spare. Aaah, to be in a gang and know the lasses, (never saw the no-tipping lad again). Oh well, cheap bastard's get what they deserve.
We all feast upon many a pig and drink upon pints of ale from the north, truly the best, many a smokes and spirits upon the clear night. Of course, there was a great deal of restraint when BDF Jim yells, "Chains!!!" Just previously we had "ritual" Tequila shots thanks to Kate the Wise. Being that half the crew just loves a good fight thing's were now a brewin'. Just then Thunderous Jack sets these fireworks off from the roof, (the thought of chains among the Revolutionaries disappeared), the light and thunder show was so good the C.F.U. (Chinese Fireworks Union, who'd a thunk it?) put a hit out on Jack (seems he isn't a member). After the show, we again brought about what to do. Thick Chuck said. "Dinosaurs, we can ship them from Jurassic Park". I explained we had to steal gas from a Ford to get to the meet. He ate more ribs. Gun Boat Pete says, "mMn-o-man, we take over the ships docked off the ports and from there canon the mayors mansion and sack the town", as he had a tug off his flask .(I liked this idea personally). We gave him more whiskey, Irish, of course. Well my personal security advisor Hatchet Chad says we can actually place "anti car devices" on the bikes and have our "merry way, blastin'... an a throttlin'... hee... hee.. harr... harr !!!", and took a tug off his jug of shine. I said I would think about it (actually I placed a personal order) . He then suggested letting the animals free from the zoo as a statement and blowing up the sun to really do the job. I really thought that idea had merit as I slipped him a mickey to keep the order, so to speak, soon after we could get to business, as he snored loudly, sometimes yelling, "THE SUN !! THE SUN!!!".
Since H C was asleep, what could the plan possibly be, I‘m insane so my ideas may be in different dimensions, what to do, what to do? Well all of a sudden the "Clans" from the other end of the waters and lands arrived . Pirate Ziet killed more pigs for the spit, at one point some rowdy but creative revolutionaries even flung one out a catapult, ever see a pig fly, it's pretty funny. While the food was cooking and we were drinking many a keg "burn out" contests and shootin' matches ( rules were you can only "wing") were afoot.
While feasting one beautiful lass stands and yells" lets have a day when we all stay in a line at the toll booths, not ALL the booths as to piss off the man but enough to commemorate the powers that exist , also truly make a statement as lines involve people". Some smart ass mouths off, from nowhere a knife appears in Talitha the Hawk's hand and instantly is in smartasses . So Thick Chuck pulls the knife out of his hand wipes the table of blood and tears, we give her knife back as she smirks and wipes the blood off on her sleeve, a Hennessy to her. She shoots it and requests the bottle. However her idea is brilliant and we say so. Gun Boat Pete seems to have procured a potato cannon and is "lobbing some off" onto the yuppies, seems his flask is empty and is drinking from the pitcher, no one minds. Kate the Wise wisely adds firecrackers into the potatoes and they now splatter over the upper class scum, great fun!
The Caffeine Kid riles... at the speed of sound (did I hear it?) "why not have every bike take a legal parking slot in the financial district and major retail outlet, we can use the same slots and watch each others back" Hmm, from there he started rambling on about the secret alien camps among the deep South American coffee plantations trying to steal "our" coffee. It took three mickey's to take him down (security reasons).
I really wanted to shoot the cannon so I had a couple pitchers sent over and arrived in style. Kate the Wise now had Cherry Bombs.. we were now in business, yeah man , fuckin' yuppies.
Daryll the Deuce, an old schooler and wise like a Jedi Master his style more to make a message come across as subtle as possible and have a party while doing so say's" lets have a good ol' rally where everyone is invited who's ever lost someone on a bike, I betcha many would come", I bet he's right. We all cheer and toast him. Not to be out done BDF Jim has found balloons and is now lobbing them from a high vantage point at the anyone he wishes. Kate the Wise is now aiming the cannon at him, ooh that must have hurt. Since the revolutionaries and clans are now all in a frenzy of mahem, no other plotting could get done, so I had a bottle brought over and proceeded to bombard everyone in sight laughing wildly along with Kate the Wise and as long as we had firecrackers and the kitchen had potatoes. We all had a great start for the revolution.
~Cheers, Alx